JACKO: So Garland, how are you today?
GLAND: Doing great bud. Getting ready for a great practice sesh here at the Compound.
JACKO: Alright sounds good… Now let’s get into the serious stuff. You’ve got to marry one, bang one, and kill one. We’ve got Shane’s wife, Jimmy Fitzpatrick, and Jimmy Hill’s sister. The noble thing to do would be to kill Shane’s wife.
GLAND: Yeah, I’d have to. Sorry Shane, it’s the most reasonable thing to do. As for Hill’s sister, I’ve never met her but he has that long hair so I don’t know.
JACKO: So answer the question… are you gonna bang Hill’s sister?
JACKO: Looks like your’e marrying Fitzpatrick. Your fucked! So what’s your plan for 2013?
GLAND: 2013.. Nuclear Cowboys is kicking off we will see what the rest of the year brings with some demos or tours. I don’t know… we’ll see if the worlds still standing after 12/21/12… that’s the end of the world apparently.
JACKO: Fuck… Looks like I’m going on a bender! I never even knew. I thought that was next year. Well we shouldn’t plan too far ahead. I guess we will just worry about then. How’s the love life?
GLAND: It’s good… girlfriend.
JACKO: That’s a slippery slope.
GLAND: How about you? Whats new in the world of Jacko Strong?
JACKO: Not much really… I am now a professional sled rider. Freestyle is just a hobby now. Welcome to Australia, we have a bobsled team. Let’s talk about the beard because the beard is coming back… Who is ready for a beard ride?
GLAND: The beard was around for about 3 years, and then went away and now it’s coming back.
JACKO: It’s gone, you got a chick.. You’re like “she aint’ leaving me now” so you’re gonna grow it again.
JACKO: Do girls hate beards? I know chicks are absolutely repulsed by mullets. Fuck.. every single girl that sees you with a mullet just turns their nose up at you. So you gotta go with a beard.
GLAND: Yeah. A beard is kind of a hit or miss. They either love it or hate it… and I guess there’s some indifferent ones.
JACKO: Do you ever get any chicks that come up to you and ask you if they can sit on your beard?
GLAND: Of course… Especially in the Midwest you know. They like it out there. I think back in the day a lot of the men had beards, and I think some of the girls still like that I think.
JACKO: Yeah, it makes you feel like the alpha male. If I could grow a beard I would have one… I’ll put it that way.
GLAND: Working on any new tricks?
JACKO: We have Summer X Games coming next year so just training for best trick. The pressures on, I have to quit drinking beers and start thinking it’s that time of year again. I don’t know, after the whole winter things over I’ve got a couple of ideas and a couple of tricks that I’ve already done in my foam pit in Australia. So I’ll be back the 9-5 grind trying to figure it out. Putting the time in. How about you… How’s that boat going? Have you had any boats and hoes episodes yet?
GLAND: The boat is good it still floats… I’ve had a couple of issues of water in some of the compartments.
JACKO: They make a pump for that, don’t they?
GLAND: Yeah it’s all good… It happens. But yeah, maybe some big adventures, maybe Catalina, maybe Hawaii… who knows.
JACKO: Do you think Australia might be in the sights? Pack the bike and storm the streets to my pad?
GLAND: I think so… I think it’s definitely do-able with a 27 ft. boat. I think I’ll either make it or I won’t… but it will be a fun adventure.
JACKO: Sounds good. Well then you can do that one first on your own.
GLAND: Yea, ill meet you there.
JACKO: 10-4 rubber ducky over and out.